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So....yeah. Let's start from the beginning. Last night's dream.
( Cut for very disturbing imagery, length, mentions of blood, and because some people don't like reading about dreams, much less nightmares. Oh yeah and language. ) And then I wake up, shaking, sweating, half crying, blankets kicked off so I'm freezing.
For those of you who didn't read: VERY VERY DISTURBING BAD DREAM.
So...yeah. I wake up at 7:30. Everyone's gone, thankfully, so they don't see my shaking. I take the dog out, check my email, go back to bed. Then comes 9:00. Dog is barking, needs to go out. I get up, I find I feel awful, like sick awful, and take the dog out, get the boys breakfast, and because I feel awful, go back to bed. Then, I fucking wake up at 1:00 going SHIT. Since then, I have broken a glass, not been able to find my wi-fi connector, freaked and stressed at basically every little thing, been disconcertingly hungry, yet not wanted to eat, and felt terribly depressed and lonely, and still not been able to get those disturbing images from my mind. I turned off my music, 'cause Hey Jude decided to come on and that was enough to make me cry (dream), so now it's quiet. It feels like it's raining, but it's not. I'm cold, sneezy, I need to clean my room, and I found out I'm gonna start getting homework next week. Usually, this would be good. Today, it just makes me feel worse.
I want tea.
( Cut for very disturbing imagery, length, mentions of blood, and because some people don't like reading about dreams, much less nightmares. Oh yeah and language. ) And then I wake up, shaking, sweating, half crying, blankets kicked off so I'm freezing.
For those of you who didn't read: VERY VERY DISTURBING BAD DREAM.
So...yeah. I wake up at 7:30. Everyone's gone, thankfully, so they don't see my shaking. I take the dog out, check my email, go back to bed. Then comes 9:00. Dog is barking, needs to go out. I get up, I find I feel awful, like sick awful, and take the dog out, get the boys breakfast, and because I feel awful, go back to bed. Then, I fucking wake up at 1:00 going SHIT. Since then, I have broken a glass, not been able to find my wi-fi connector, freaked and stressed at basically every little thing, been disconcertingly hungry, yet not wanted to eat, and felt terribly depressed and lonely, and still not been able to get those disturbing images from my mind. I turned off my music, 'cause Hey Jude decided to come on and that was enough to make me cry (dream), so now it's quiet. It feels like it's raining, but it's not. I'm cold, sneezy, I need to clean my room, and I found out I'm gonna start getting homework next week. Usually, this would be good. Today, it just makes me feel worse.
I want tea.
